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Today I threatened my kids with public school and day care.
There, I said it. Not my best moment. Or my worst to be honest.
I just lost my mind.
None of my usual parenting techniques were working. I would sit down with the kids and play with them, get them all settled, and happily playing–then I’d get up to do some of my own tasks (fun things like dishes and laundry) and no joke–SECONDS LATER–someone is screaming or crying.
Why are kids such babies?! UGH!
I sent my husband an email that basically said that I had been taken hostage by the children and to send snacks and juice if he wanted me back. I know he just loves getting those kind of emails when he’s at work.
Why are some days like this? So chaotic and out of control from the beginning–when you’re ready for nap time before 9am. It’s raining and storming outside so we can’t go out there to get some fresh air. At 8am, my oldest son, Ethan, came running up from the basement to tell me that Grant (the 3 year old) just urinated in the trash can in his (Ethan’s) bedroom. If that’s not bad enough, I hear Ethan say to Grant (when he thought I couldn’t hear of course) “Grant, I was waiting for you to do that so I could tell Mommy” Ummm…so you’re telling me that I get to clean pee out of a full trash can all because you wanted to get your brother in trouble. SERIOUSLY!?
But I made it to nap time which means that I will be able to survive. God willing.
Now I need to hit the reset button.
Start over.
But how?
How do I just let that stress go–the anger at a full morning wasted with yelling and anger and defiance? How do I just forget about all of the things on my to-do list? My husband is taking the kids out of town over night (yay!) but I need to pack their bags and get them ready to leave. Then we are camping early next week and right after that we are having family (2 adults and their 4 children) coming to stay with us through the fourth. So I have a lot to do, but the kids just don’t understand that.
So yeah, about that reset button.
Deep breath.
I try to remember that this is just one day in the span of a lifetime–it doesn’t really matter. I try to think of the worst case scenario–and when that scenario doesn’t scare me, I know it’ll be ok. I do a “brain dump” which is where I make a big list of each and every little thing in my brain until I can’t think of another single issue. It’s funny how small it all looks on paper. Lots of prayer. And lastly, I try to remember the good things about this life.
There’s no ground-breaking advice here. Probably nothing that will change your life. Just a reminder that you’re not alone on your bad days. There is always someone who can relate.
At the end of the day when I’m reflecting on how it went, I try to remember this: one bad moment does not make a bad mom. And I really do believe that.
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Yeah, I know those days all too well. I also have no real words of wisdom or advice… just keep breathing, praying and moving forward… You’re doing great and there will be better days.
Marissa
Thanks 🙂 I’m counting on those better days!
Love it!!! So glad I am not alone in those “bad days”. Also thankful that “one bad moment does not make a bad mom.” Thanks for the post it was really encouraging.
Glad it helped!
It’s so interesting to me to read posts like this! ALL I want is to be a mom, but what my #1 desire is, I see others struggle with! Thanks for being honest about the bad days
of course–thanks for reading!
Everyone has bad moments. I certainly have a few I try and forget. But the great thing about this story is that one day you’ll be far enough removed and this will be absolutely hilarious. Hang in there and keep praying.
Seriously, that’s why I keep a journal–so that one day I can laugh at the insanity that goes on sometimes!
LOL. At threatening with daycare. I SO OFTEN want to shout “Do you know how lucky you are that I’m here with you!!!” But you know, she doesn’t. She doesn’t comprehend the sacrifices I’m making – only I really do. And that’s OK. We believe it will matter one day, right?
I swear my 6 year old got so nervous–like I was sending him away forever. Oh man–I felt terrible! And yes–the sacrifice WILL matter some day!
Oh my friend… I have so been there!! I have sent text messages to my husband telling him that I quit and want to go back to “real work” where I get paid to deal with this crap… But I never do because I’d miss them too much. Oh my bad horrible days I try praying out loud for patience and understanding. There is something about praying out loud that helps calm me and the kids.
YES! I always say I want to get a real job! I just have to vent sometimes–and unfortunately he usually gets the brunt of it. Poor husband! Haha–
I try to pray outloud often…but it’s really loud here. Usually I put on Christian radio and that does the trick.
Gosh, I feel ya! So many days I text my husband asking him to come home because I’m pulling my hair out. Sometimes there’s not much we can do about those chaotic days but sigh a prayer for peace up to God and do our best to muddle through.
Glad I’m not the only one 🙂
one step at a time – one moment at a time – giving it all to God 😀
Could not agree more! Thanks for reading 🙂
Ah yes, such an important reminder that one bad moment does not make a bad momma!
Me and our 5 have lived through toddlerhood, and my youngest is 11. But I remember those days as if they were yesterday…each season has its blessings and challenges, tho. So in the end, I wouldn’t trade a second of any of it for the world…
Hang in there and cling to Jesus <3!
Well it’s so good to hear from an experience momma on the other side of things!
I’m a first time and my son is three weeks old does it get better when my boyfriend leaves for work I get so jealous of him that he gets to get out while I’m here taking care of a baby I had up to here and plus my son doesn’t want to sleeps at night but want to sleep so good through the day I’m so stressed out please help me
I can remember feeling that way too—and still do sometimes! What always helped me was prayer and sunshine. Go to the park, walk around, find a MOPS group or Bible Study–activities at the library. Just get around other humans 🙂
Oh and prayer–lots of prayer!
Being a mother is hard. I struggle daily. Especially when you don’t have a partner to lean on. I do it all on my own. No husband. No live in boyfriend. No one to confer with. I have have to make all the decisions and dish out all the discipline. Right or wrong. Sometime I think there has to be more to life than this. Cherish your husbands ladies!!
very wise advice! I have so much respect for single parents. You are doing a great work, my friend. God bless!
I love this post! As a mom to 3 boys, it definitely can have it’s challenges! Thanks for sharing!
So you know what it’s like then! 3 boys! It can be tough! Bless you my friend!
Thank you for sharing! Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone is the message within itself.
Love this. And your humor. Needing some blogging insight if you don’t mind.