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Just Grow Up Already, Mean Girls!
Whenever I am around adults who are being mean girls and having drama I just want to yell, “grow up!” But I try to resist that urge because when it’s me having the drama, I don’t want someone to yell that at me! Ha!
Somewhere along the line, we got it in our heads that being a “mean girl” was only a teenage problem. But if you have spent any time around large groups of adult women, you have probably come to realize that the “mean girl” epidemic isn’t just a high school problem.
I would venture to say the problems are little bit different and are mostly centered around gossip and comparison.
Think about the backlash you get when you decide to parent differently than most. It can be scary to stray from the herd.
Oh and I have talked before about the relationship between prayer and gossip and the very thin line between the two.
Instead of perpetuating the insanity, I have been determined to take a different approach.
How to Deal With Grown Up Mean Girls:
1. Don’t Gossip!
Venting is the same as gossip.
“Avoid Godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” (2 Timothy 2:16)
2. Check Yourself First!
What we don’t like (or are offended by) in someone else may actually be the very problem we have with ourselves. We must be willing to repent of our own sins before pointing the finger at others.
“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eyes.” (Matthew 7:5)
3. Pray! Pray! Pray!
Pray for the person who has wronged you. As the saying goes, “hurt people, hurt people.”
“Answer me when I pray, oh God, my defender! When I was in trouble, you helped me. Be kind to me now and hear my prayer.” (Psalm 4:1)
4. Overflow with Grace!
Often sin, which is normally at the heart of conflict; is multi-layered. The surface issue is just the tip of the iceberg. The easiest way for me to forgive others, is to remind myself of all that the Lord has forgiven in me.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the LORD forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
5. Let it Go!
Once you walk away from conflict–don’t keep revisiting it. Do not second-guess what you said or didn’t say. Don’t re-examine old wounds–release it all to the LORD.
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ, forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Practicing grace and forgiveness is the best picture the world can see of Jesus’s abundant mercy and love for his broken children.
I hope you’re not hearing me say that I am perfect and that I am a good little Christian girl who never screws up or makes bad decisions. I am a broken individual who is determined to do better, that’s all.
How do you deal with mean girls as a grown-up? Or are you a mean girl yourself…because aren’t we all at some point? Leave me a comment and let me know.
Cassie from True Agape says
These are great tips! The reality of the situation is there are mean girls and sometimes WE ARE the mean girl if we are not aware of our behavior, words and thoughts. I have needed to check myself in the comparison department. Thank you for this reminder!
I hear ya, sister!
Thanks for stopping by!
This sure would have been most helpful when I was going through this at work, I was terminated because of the office mean girls. I refused to be bullied, asked them to stop, which made things worse. Went to management, who didn’t take it seriously. The mean girls started a complaining campaign until I was finally terminated. I’m not angry, just sad that there are people who care so little about themselves, and even less about others.
Great post and great scripture to go along with it!
My eyeballs sometimes want to roll all the way out of my head at some conversations I have heard.
OMG did you see what Suzy had on today?
Well I certainly wouldn’t let my child do that.
Blech get a life ladies.
Just remember, girls aren’t the only ones, guys can be just as bad.
I thought it was just me! Thanks for this! I just avoid these people.
I agree! Good article. There is way too much backbiting chatter that goes on among believers. As the body of Christ, we should be uplifting to one another. Genuinely uplifting. I find that if we pray to love each other with true God driven love, then we’re less likely to pick out the downfalls and more likely to pray that the Lord will help others to grow into what He has for them. I often find that when someone comes to chat with you with a load of gossip an answer of “Well, we just have to keep praying for one another” usually turns the spotlight on the one doing the gossiping and less on the one being talked about. lol
Thank you for the great article. I am currently struggling with my Childs Pre-3K teacher at a Christian School. I am hurt and currently disappointed by her actions. It seems as if she was hurt or offended by my husband bringing my little girl to class five minutes late. (This was the first and only time we brought our daughter late to class) So, she decided to respond to the tardiness episode, by sending me an email restricting my clothing choice, despite no other family/child has this restriction. This event has since escalated and the school Principal is involved.
I have decided to take the approach of, “Lets Move On”. Unfortunately, the teacher is relentless and wants to make sure I know that she is the boss and in control. My Childs school takes the approach of, “The Teachers know best”.
My husband and I have decided to pray and sit back and observe the “School” as a whole to determine if my daughter should continue attending the school.
This issue has taken over my thoughts…….I have never known a Teacher how’s goal was to put me in my place. I have a 15 year-old boy and have never had problems with his teachers before. (He went to public school)
Does it take time for anger, understanding and disbelief to go away? I do not understand why this is happening? It is very difficult for me to pray for her.
Oh goodness–when it has to do with our kids, it’s a whole other ballgame, huh?! Well, I do believe in second chances and with that comes the really hard part of allowing the offender to move beyond her mistake.
If it were me, I’d pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to give me a spirit of forgetfulness. That I may forget that I was wronged and move beyond feeling hurt. While you could also pray for the teacher–you may want to work on your own heart first.
I only say that because you’re trying to make a tough decision regarding your child’s school–you want to make sure you are walking in Truth and Love–not holding onto hurt and anger.
It would only be after doing that–that I could make a big decision. Praying for you and your husband–and your sweet daughter too!
Tristan Sophia says
thank you so much for this!! my favorite part was the scripture at the end – that says it all, right? I copied and printed it out. xoxo